OMG has it been that long!!!

Today a friend asked for list of anyone who has a weight loss blog. I immediately gave her mine, but then it suddenly dawned on me that wow I haven't been on here for so long....

Life has been good to me, I really think I have finally seen the light with my band. I don't ever actually really stop and think about the band these days, or ever find it stops me having anything I want.

My mind is completely different though, I live on fish and love fresh produce. Something I never thought Id say out loud LOL. I couldn't tell you the last time I went to McDonalds or KFC and for those of you who know me, know that I almost had shares in those places pre-band days.

I am very active and am just making the most of life. My weight is 83kgs and does still fluctuate, I have a love of wine and do admit that its half my reason that my weight just does not want to get below the 80kgs, but look, at the end of the day, I'm happy with who I am, I'm comfortable in my own skin (another first for me) and Im just really enjoying my life.

Ultimately I guess I would like to loose another 10kgs long term. But I am not worried how long this takes. Currently a size 16, I haven't been that since I was 17. So I am happy!

A few weeks ago I got another tattoo, yes I was warned it was addictive LOL. My reason behind this was though to reward myself for my achievement and to have a constant reminder of where Ive come from, I will attach a pic. But the words I chose were " she believed she could, so she did" and I stand by this, if we believe hard enough and trust in ourselves we can achieve anything"......

On a different note: this past week I have had a Hysterectomy, for any of you who have been through this or who are contemplating it, you must check out a great page called www.hystersisters.com the information on this page is invaluable.

Another Update

Well its been ages since I've updated, I guess cause nothing majorly exciting has been happening, well when I say that, I mean not with my banding life.

On the other hand, my photography venture that I decided to embark on has become an amazing journey. I have been overwhelmed with the support I have received and am so excited with where it is taking me, for those of you who have facebook, please come across and like my page Just Simply You, and for those of you who don't and maybe interested www.justsimplyyouphotography.com

Without the banding journey though, I am absolutely positive that none of this would be possible. I would not have had the confidence to pursue my goals.

I am now sitting at 82kgs, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am itching to be 80kgs but just because it's annoying me that I just cant seem to get under it... I do know the reason why though..... and that would be the wine LOL.... so it is the choice's we make isn't it.

The past two days I have had quite a bit of heartburn, which is something I haven't had in a very long time and I had forgotten just how uncomfortable it is so have been sipping on boiling water all day which definitely helps the discomfort.

Anyway I shall upload some photos, I hope all of you out there who are continuing your journey are going well, I love to hear feedback from you and am always wanting to know of others blogs so please don't hesitate to let me know yours.

I believe blogging can be a great tool in helping us be a little more true to ourselves, often its much easier to sit and write something down than to actually say the words. Its also an amazing thing to look back upon as you go forward with your journey, I look back now and truly feel as though my photos are someone else. So its a nice pat on the back to see how far you've come.

Loving Life & Living it to the Fullest

I know Ive been a little slack on the updates of late. Im sorry to those of you who have been messaging me. To be honest Im just too busy loving life!

6 months ago I decided to live my dream and start making photography my career. I have always loved taking pictures of people, capturing expressions and giving people something they can cherish forever.

So I'm doing it.... I'd love you to follow this journey with me and just like on here give me feedback, constructive criticism, after all everyone starts as an amateur we learn from listening and watching. So please join me at www.justsimplyyouphotography.com or find me on Facebook under JUST SIMPLY YOU

As far as the weight and the band goes, I couldnt be happier. I sitting on a comfortable 84kgs which is where Ive been for a while now. Im happy, confident, loving shopping and in general living life to the fullest. I cant believe what I missed out on all these years hiding behind my fat.... dancing for example - who would have thought I would looove it so much... haha...

On the weekend I went to my first Lovedale Long Lunch in the Hunter Valley (Im very fortunate to live in a beautiful part of this country which is just around the corner) our buses theme was roaring 20's and if some of you remember I attended a party last year the same so was very excited that I already had an outfit that I was comfortable in. I had a blast and sat there looking around at all the people feeling such a mix of emotions (some will tell you that had more to do with the wine LOL) but it was a feeling of joy & sadness that why had it taken me to 36 years of age to realise I was good enough to not only attend something like this but to enjoy it whole heart idly without any reservation to what others might have been thinking of me. For the first time in my life I was enjoying being looked at and not once was I thinking OMG they are judging me.

Once again I had my shoulder of strength with me, the gorgeous Tarnya Haines. I truly dont know how I would have dealt with many of my emotions over the past 4 years without her friendship and support, she is my angel.

I will upload some pictures from the weekend (the tasteful ones of course haha).

Hope you are all well and learning to love yourselves a little more each day. We ALL deserve happiness. Have a great week xxx

A year gone by

I was sitting at work the other day and had to write down the date and it suddenly made me realise that it has been a year since my tummy tuck... wow! hasnt that flown by.

I still have to say it has been the best decision I have ever made. I am amazed by how much confidence I have now, and how I feel that "the one within" is finally showing herself on the outside.

When I look back on photos of me from a few years ago, I see the sadness in my eye's, I know the thoughts in my head were those of wanting to hide from the world. I would always be invited out yet never went, lacking the confidence as my outfits wouldn't be trendy enough or I would simply feel as though I was being stared at for being the fat girl....

I cant say this weighloss process has been easy, nor has my change in self confidence, sadly this has made me loose some people whom I considered priceless friends, but why! why would they no longer want to be my friend because I finally felt good about myself. I still struggle to understand that.

I still believe I am a good person and care deeply for my friends, but in gaining self confidence I guess I realised I didn't have to be the backup friend anymore. I stopped being "there" for everyone at their beck and call and started to assess how many of those friends were "there" for me when I needed them. Amazing how many of my "friends" dissapeared.

Anyway I am not going to sit and feel sorry for myself, I am so proud of myself and the decisions that I have made. I treasure the relationship I have with my husband as my confidence and love of life has bought us closer together than weve been in years and at the end of the day he and my kids are my world and what they care about matters most to me.

I will attach some more pics from the last few weeks and an updated one of my tum, I dont think much has changed there but its good I guess to see how things are a year on.

Hope your all well and life is treating you good, and for those of you who are struggling at the moment dont forget how beautiful you are on the inside and believe in yourself that what's within truly matters most xx

Well it has been forever since Ive been on here, I had my slip all fixed and am doing great, I had a new band put it which isnt sewn in so that has been a little weird getting used too but its now working great for me, I did gain 8kgs after my slip whilst trying to get my levels right again but am now sitting in just the right spot and have managed to loose that 8kgs again.

So not alot to tell but just wanted to update and say all is going fantastic.

Total Frustration

Well as Ive said for a while now, reflux is something I have come to live with, not something that I found unbearable but somewhat annoying... until the past month, the reflux became something I felt I couldnt live with. It had got to the point if I ate or drank anything after 5pm that it would come flying out my nose once I had fallen asleep.

In turn causing a burning sensation in the back of my nose, throat and chest for the rest of the night, making sleeping a problem and therefore causing me to be overtired, cranky and really quite unbearable to live with.

So I decided it was time to find out why this was happening to me, and why am I in the 2% of people who just do suffer reflux after banding.

So on Monday I went for a barrium swallow, after going back to see my fill Dr he said to me that the band didnt look like it was in the correct position but he was having trouble reading the scan, he advised that I see the surgeon and that he would probably put a camera down my throat just to be sure. So here I am thinking ok I can do the camera thingy, everythings going to be fine and whammo!

Friday morning I receive a call from the surgeons secretary asking me to come in immediately, she said it was his day off but he wanted to see me straight away, so with shaking hands I drove there to see him.

He was lovely, called me in and said now Ive had a look at your scans and in all my working history Ive never seen a slipped band this bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG your kidding I said, but it cant be, Im not in any pain, im still eating sandwiches for goodness sake.

He said that when the other surgeon had opened my band 2 years ago and then done it back up, that it was almost eminent that I would have slipped again straight away.... he said in his opinion that should never have been done and that the band should have been replaced with a larger one.

So in turn, my band has slipped sideways and my esophegas has compensated by growing a pouch just as large as my stomach and that my food is falling into this rather than trying to get through my band and there for because its sitting in the pouch with no where to go that when I lie down the only way out is up!!! He said he's never seen anything so bad before and told me he wants me scheduled for surgery to remove my band on Tuesday.

As you can imagine I was devestated, thinking youve got to be kidding, how can i have come so far and now appear to have reached the end of my journey - has this all been for nothing, as lets face it without the band I am screwed - I may aswell just start washing in fat!

He then said that he would like to put a new band in but do it in the same operation, I thought Oh thank God, but then he said the clintcher ......

Because another surgeon put the band in in the first place, and then stuffed it up, he is not happy to cover the costs of that!!!!! So if I would like another band he will be more than happy to do it but it will be $4000!!!!! yes $4000 by Monday!

I left his office very grateful for his advice and help but freaking out about the cost of another band.

I have such mixed emotions, I am so angry with my original surgeon for not listening to me and making my last 2 years uncomfortable, I have had people say why dont I go back to him and say so and have him fix it but for those of you who know what I went through with him, the thought of even seeing that man makes my skin crawl, let alone letting him put me under the knife again....

So Tuesday I embark on once again another stage of this journey, my beautiful understanding husband has agreed that I would be silly not to have another band put straight in so I will be getting another, and I will now be under the care of a lovely surgeon whom I am sure will treat me right.

I will keep you posted on what the next few weeks brings, I look very forward to the sleep to be honest.......

6 months after the TT

Well it has been a while since Ive been on here, my recovery from the Tummy Tuck has gone fantastically. I am soo happy with my progress. I am still having issues with the reflux in the evenings and have decided to try having a Tony Furguson Milkshake for dinner in stead of food and see if this makes a difference. So will report back and let you know how that is going.

My big exciting news though is that last week I decided to get a tattoo, something I have wanted for years but was quite scared about doing as I didnt want to put myself in a situation where I would look skanky if wanting to get dressed up.

When I was looking at having the Tummy Tuck I saw a pic of a girl who had a vine tattoo'd over her scar and I thought WOW thats gorgeous, and so thats what Ive done.

I am sooo happy with the outcome, I do plan to go back in a couple of weeks and have a few more swirls and whirls put here and there but for now I am just stoked that I got exactly what I was after, I went to a guy who was very experienced in covering scars too which I thought was important and for those of you wondering about the pain. Well thanks to the tummy tuck, I was numb majority of the time so I didnt feel the outline or the black at all, the flowers on the other hand were a different story... they hurt real bad.......haha

Anyway will attach a pic, this was taken the day I had it done so my poor stretch marks are quite raised and swollen, all is good now though everything has flattened again.

7 weeks on...

Well its been 7 weeks, and what a relief to no longer have to wear the gurdle, summer is here and I dont think I would have coped in it day and night on those hot summer days....

The swelling seems to have gone down now and I have lost 1 size in clothing, so I am now fitting comfortably into a size 16. My scars are healing well, there is no tenderness at all and I am still completely thrilled with the outcome.

My biggest challenge this summer is to let myself relax about my arms, all the dresses out at the moment are sleeveless and Im having some issues feeling comfortable about that. I also have a party to go to that I need to wear a cocktail dress ( something I have NEVER done before) Ive always avoided them or made up and excuse as to why we couldnt go cause I was too embarrassed about not being able to fit into a cocktail dress.

So the pics I'll download today are of me this morning, in a dress again ( dresses have become my best friend) and a sleeveless one at that......

Bring on Summer......

Its a Dress!!!!!!

Well its 3 weeks since I had the op now, and finally I am really feeling back to normal, I can go to the shops again now and not feel like I am going to collapse... hence why Im in a dress!!!!!!!!! haha, I bought this dress a year ago cause I just loved it, got it home and when I put it on I couldnt get it over my stomach... but I couldnt bring myself to take it back.... so today is a very exciting day for me... Im wearing dress and thats something I havent done in a VERY long time.......

2 Weeks Post Op

Well its been 2 weeks today since I had my op, amazing how fast that time has gone. Im at the point of feeling frustrated at the moment. Im still having to sit in this reclined position which makes doing anything really difficult, not suppose to be driving until my bandages are off (which I have snuck out a few times..) and am still having to sponge bath.....Oh what I would give for a long hot shower!!!

Friday I have an appointment with the Surgeon to have these bandages off get my stitches out of my belly button and should get the ok for showering and driving and sitting - whoo hoo.

Apparently the sitting thing has something to do with the flap (as they call it) I think that is the piece of skin they have pulled down and stitched. They said I must sit this way as to prevent the flap from dying???? so Im not sure but it sounded yukky so Im doing as Im told....

Anyway just thought I'd post a pic, not much has changed since the week one photo...

Must have's for Tummy Tuck

Since going through this process there are a few things that I either had taken with me which made life so much easier or things that I wished I had taken, so I thought Id share them with you so when you too go through this you'll know up front what would make life easier:

Hipster undies

- now even if you would never consider wearing them now, they are perfect for after the op as they sit under your scar and believe me after the op this is all you'll want to wear.

Roll down elastic waisted stretch cotton pants

- I just bought the yoga style 3/4 length ones from Katies which were perfect as you really wont be able to have anything firm

Singlet tops with built in shelf bra

- with all the tightness and the gurdle you have to wear a bra felt like it was taking my breath away so if your happy to go bra-less then do, but for those of us who like a little support these singlet tops are the way to go

Neck Pillow

- you know those squashy little ones that are for travelling, I found that being restricted to lying on my back and elevated and being someone that likes to sleep on their side, I really needed something to support my neck when I slept.

Cream and Lip Balm

-with the aircon my skin and lips was sooo dry, even to the point my lips were splitting.

Since being at home and wanting to sleep in my bed I have bought a bed wedge from "hospital at home" which is just like a triangle firm pillow that allows you to sleep elevated. This has been the most comfortable thing I could find that kept me in the same position as I had in hospital

Weightloss

I forgot to mention...... My doctor said he removed 5kgs of skin and fat from my stomach and 500cc's of fat from each flank (hip)......

Day 8

Im sitting here this morning and cant believe its been a week since my surgery, everyday everything is getting easier, like this morning when I did my sponge bath and I didnt need to sit down half way through....I had a much better nights sleep too and manged to sleep till 6am instead of 4am!!!

My Dr came in this afternoon and we agreed that since Im going stir crazy I can go home, I still have one drain left in though and this will have to stay in and I will need to come back in tomorrow and have it taken out. So I jump with joy and he agree's to do the big reveal and let me have a shower before he redresses the wound....

Im so excited when I see my tummy without the corset... cant believe what a difference its made...nurse takes some pics for me before they bandage me all up for another week.

So home I go... have to go back to Dr's in a week for stitches in my belly button to come out and to have the dressings taken off but he tells me that I dont need to keep the corset on... Whoo Hoo....

What a week.... So that never ending search to reveal the one within is feeling closer than ever....

Day 7

This morning I woke with a burning sensation on the scar when I moved to get out of bed, I had however had the best nights sleep during the night with almost no breaks in sleep, so I had stayed still all night.. It did hurt getting out of bed, but by the time I made it to the toilet all was good and I'd loosened everything up.

Dr called this morning and said another 2 drains can come out today, feeling a little dissapointed as I would have liked them all out so I could go home, as lovely as the break from reality has been I am missing my family and am bored out of my brain.....

Day 6

Last night I woke twice through the night with aching in my torso almost flu like, nothing that panadol wouldnt take away though. Then woke again at 5am with a real pulling feeling to my incision - not painful but really weird and tingly. Asked nurse about it and he said that when you start to heal your scar starts to shrink and thats why its feels like its pulling... so all is good..

Decided to get up and have a wonder around, my beautiful nurse brings me a cup of tea and everything feels better LOL.

After a sponge bath again and freshening myself up I am feeling on top of the world... today I am aiming to walk a lap of the ward every hour and manage to, every day I notice such a difference in how much easier things are getting.

getting funny fluttery feelings under my skin today - almost like when you first feel your baby and its like butterflies....feels really funny!

Day 5

Feeling quite exausted today I think I may have overdone it with my 3 laps yesterday...manage though to give myself a sponge bath this morning and wash my hair, have to sit down half way through though as I become light headed.

Aim is to stay out of bed and sit in the chair until lunch today, then I know I'll be sleeping all afternoon....

The nurses surprise me and come in and say were taking a drain out today - ahhh I think, Oh no this is going to hurt......I am so scared its ridiculous! The nurse is wonderful and soo gentle and it slides on out without me even feeling it ( well that is until the end bit that feels like a rope with a knot in the end) and as she gets to the end she says take a breath in and she tugs the knot through - again NO pain.... but awww I was nauseous.... haha

So now 3 more drains to come out, they dont like to rush it cause apparently you can end up having to have the fluid syringed out if they take them to early - YUK!

Day 4

Still have my 4 drains in and know that day 4 was the day that they often come out..... as this was the thing I was more nervous about than anything else I am feeling quite apprehensive...

But feeling a great sense of freedom today I decide to try walking a lap of the ward.... What a shock I can only manage baby steps and every step makes me so exausted......I manage 3 laps and then back to bed for nanna nap time....

Tonight I finally experience pain!!! But no not where I am expecting it..... its in my back! and as the nurses explained I am using my back muscles when walking to compensate for the ones Im not using in my stomach at the moment, but boy it hurts and I ache all night......

Day 3

This morning I am given the great news I can get the IV and catheter out, they figured seeing as Im not using the PCA there is no point in having it, and I am keen to get out of the bed!

The nurses prepare me for the fact that when they get me out it is going to hurt and that we will just sit on the edge of the bed first , then lean forward till my feet touch the ground and stand bent over like a little old lady..LOL.. then I am to shuffle to the chair...

I am so excited and soooo scared that I am going to be in pain and rip in half that I take it soooo slow, but once again am shocked there is no pain. Im not going to say I didnt feel tight cause its the strangest tightness feeling. But there was truly no pain. Once in the chair I am so exausted I fall asleep immediately...

I stay there for about an hour and a half so excited to be out of that bed, but it all becomes a little too exausting and so I opt to go back.

Now having panadol orally every 6 hours, I have a dull ache feeling all over but nothing that panadol cant take away...