Saturday, September 25, 2010

A year gone by

I was sitting at work the other day and had to write down the date and it suddenly made me realise that it has been a year since my tummy tuck... wow! hasnt that flown by.
I still have to say it has been the best decision I have ever made. I am amazed by how much confidence I have now, and how I feel that "the one within" is finally showing herself on the outside.
When I look back on photos of me from a few years ago, I see the sadness in my eye's, I know the thoughts in my head were those of wanting to hide from the world. I would always be invited out yet never went, lacking the confidence as my outfits wouldn't be trendy enough or I would simply feel as though I was being stared at for being the fat girl....

I cant say this weighloss process has been easy, nor has my change in self confidence, sadly this has made me loose some people whom I considered priceless friends, but why! why would they no longer want to be my friend because I finally felt good about myself. I still struggle to understand that.

I still believe I am a good person and care deeply for my friends, but in gaining self confidence I guess I realised I didn't have to be the backup friend anymore. I stopped being "there" for everyone at their beck and call and started to assess how many of those friends were "there" for me when I needed them. Amazing how many of my "friends" dissapeared.

Anyway I am not going to sit and feel sorry for myself, I am so proud of myself and the decisions that I have made. I treasure the relationship I have with my husband as my confidence and love of life has bought us closer together than weve been in years and at the end of the day he and my kids are my world and what they care about matters most to me.

I will attach some more pics from the last few weeks and an updated one of my tum, I dont think much has changed there but its good I guess to see how things are a year on.
Hope your all well and life is treating you good, and for those of you who are struggling at the moment dont forget how beautiful you are on the inside and believe in yourself that what's within truly matters most xx

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Well it has been forever since Ive been on here, I had my slip all fixed and am doing great, I had a new band put it which isnt sewn in so that has been a little weird getting used too but its now working great for me, I did gain 8kgs after my slip whilst trying to get my levels right again but am now sitting in just the right spot and have managed to loose that 8kgs again.

So not alot to tell but just wanted to update and say all is going fantastic.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Total Frustration

Well as Ive said for a while now, reflux is something I have come to live with, not something that I found unbearable but somewhat annoying... until the past month, the reflux became something I felt I couldnt live with. It had got to the point if I ate or drank anything after 5pm that it would come flying out my nose once I had fallen asleep.

In turn causing a burning sensation in the back of my nose, throat and chest for the rest of the night, making sleeping a problem and therefore causing me to be overtired, cranky and really quite unbearable to live with.

So I decided it was time to find out why this was happening to me, and why am I in the 2% of people who just do suffer reflux after banding.
So on Monday I went for a barrium swallow, after going back to see my fill Dr he said to me that the band didnt look like it was in the correct position but he was having trouble reading the scan, he advised that I see the surgeon and that he would probably put a camera down my throat just to be sure. So here I am thinking ok I can do the camera thingy, everythings going to be fine and whammo!
Friday morning I receive a call from the surgeons secretary asking me to come in immediately, she said it was his day off but he wanted to see me straight away, so with shaking hands I drove there to see him.
He was lovely, called me in and said now Ive had a look at your scans and in all my working history Ive never seen a slipped band this bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG your kidding I said, but it cant be, Im not in any pain, im still eating sandwiches for goodness sake.
He said that when the other surgeon had opened my band 2 years ago and then done it back up, that it was almost eminent that I would have slipped again straight away.... he said in his opinion that should never have been done and that the band should have been replaced with a larger one.
So in turn, my band has slipped sideways and my esophegas has compensated by growing a pouch just as large as my stomach and that my food is falling into this rather than trying to get through my band and there for because its sitting in the pouch with no where to go that when I lie down the only way out is up!!! He said he's never seen anything so bad before and told me he wants me scheduled for surgery to remove my band on Tuesday.
As you can imagine I was devestated, thinking youve got to be kidding, how can i have come so far and now appear to have reached the end of my journey - has this all been for nothing, as lets face it without the band I am screwed - I may aswell just start washing in fat!
He then said that he would like to put a new band in but do it in the same operation, I thought Oh thank God, but then he said the clintcher ......
Because another surgeon put the band in in the first place, and then stuffed it up, he is not happy to cover the costs of that!!!!! So if I would like another band he will be more than happy to do it but it will be $4000!!!!! yes $4000 by Monday!
I left his office very grateful for his advice and help but freaking out about the cost of another band.
I have such mixed emotions, I am so angry with my original surgeon for not listening to me and making my last 2 years uncomfortable, I have had people say why dont I go back to him and say so and have him fix it but for those of you who know what I went through with him, the thought of even seeing that man makes my skin crawl, let alone letting him put me under the knife again....

So Tuesday I embark on once again another stage of this journey, my beautiful understanding husband has agreed that I would be silly not to have another band put straight in so I will be getting another, and I will now be under the care of a lovely surgeon whom I am sure will treat me right.
I will keep you posted on what the next few weeks brings, I look very forward to the sleep to be honest.......

Thursday, February 18, 2010

6 months after the TT

Well it has been a while since Ive been on here, my recovery from the Tummy Tuck has gone fantastically. I am soo happy with my progress. I am still having issues with the reflux in the evenings and have decided to try having a Tony Furguson Milkshake for dinner in stead of food and see if this makes a difference. So will report back and let you know how that is going.

My big exciting news though is that last week I decided to get a tattoo, something I have wanted for years but was quite scared about doing as I didnt want to put myself in a situation where I would look skanky if wanting to get dressed up.
When I was looking at having the Tummy Tuck I saw a pic of a girl who had a vine tattoo'd over her scar and I thought WOW thats gorgeous, and so thats what Ive done.

I am sooo happy with the outcome, I do plan to go back in a couple of weeks and have a few more swirls and whirls put here and there but for now I am just stoked that I got exactly what I was after, I went to a guy who was very experienced in covering scars too which I thought was important and for those of you wondering about the pain. Well thanks to the tummy tuck, I was numb majority of the time so I didnt feel the outline or the black at all, the flowers on the other hand were a different story... they hurt real bad.......haha

Anyway will attach a pic, this was taken the day I had it done so my poor stretch marks are quite raised and swollen, all is good now though everything has flattened again.